yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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