Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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