can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
