I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
