Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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