Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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