my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
