I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
