I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
