why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
