they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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