she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
