just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
