you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
