watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
