My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
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