i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My penis needs a shock collar
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
