I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
