If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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