Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
