Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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