i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
