Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
