Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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