so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
