just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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