just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We have started to decorate penises.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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