She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
