I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
whose ass print is on the piano?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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