me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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