two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
