I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
