Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
should my penis look like a turkey
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
