Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
