I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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