they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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