I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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