are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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