Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
