ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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