I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
