Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
