I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
