Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
