no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
