I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
