hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
