they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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