with your own penis?
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
