what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
