Sry I called you an 8
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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