At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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