Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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