I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
